you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
