OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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