so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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