i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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