But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
