Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
