This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
