I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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