Tell her she can't have a vagina
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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