She's JV to your varsity
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
