I'm gonna have a badass scar
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
