I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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