i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
