i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
