if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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