I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize