Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
