She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
