My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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