so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
