I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
