That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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