I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
