Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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