Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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