Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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