so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
