my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
