Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
