I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
