I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
