am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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