dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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