Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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