he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
