Just fell off a train. Bad.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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