We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize