I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
