you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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