Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
