question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
my poor anus
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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