I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
3 2 1 whiskey
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
