She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
