so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
