I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize