Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I deserve this hangover.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
