I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
