it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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