pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She needs sedatives and a leash
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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