i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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