we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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