I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
