my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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