I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize