It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Farmville is her only friend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
