He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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