At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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