just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No subtext here. People are naked.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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