If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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