I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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