How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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