Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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