hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
