you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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