can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
