they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
